Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Tweets

Thank you, everyone, for indulging me in offering my commentary on Korean society.  Below is a list of most of the tweets I put out; I've excluded the ones that did not include original content or in retrospect, were lame, fell flat, leaned too far into mean-spiritedness, or were otherwise not worth keeping. The complete list is still up on the twitter page


I'll write a more personal farewell to @koreangov in a separate post. 

In chronological order:
  • Jpan have earth vibration of 6.4 becasue Danggun King of Heaven must angry for Dokdo! Korea numbr 1^^ We are Kroean Governmenty.  
  • Come to KRoea! Hub of Cloneing! But there cn only be one Kroea. Evn tho there arre two.
  •  Kim Yeon A will olympic gold when skating to James bond music. "You ONly Live Two Times" good movie bcuz james bond kills Jnapanese
  • Ofical Govrnment Policy: Welcme to Kroea! Be tourism, but dont touching our woman.
  • Offical: Visit Kroea Year 2010-2012! Visit Jnpan year is 1 year but our year is 3 years so 3x better tahn Jnapan! http://tinyurl.com/n6o4w4
  • Offiocal: Sure Japnan very clean but in creepy way like Hsopital. Come to Kroea!
  • Ofioal: Canandian Woman is Candian, but gets electdf to Canadia Senate and becoems Korean because! http://digs.by/Np
  • Kim Yeon A and Meow Asada reveal Olympic strategitiies: Asada planniing to cheat http://digs.by/Q0
  • Oficial: Ssangyong means "two dragions'. Becasue two dragons make many smokes and fire like Ssnangyong cars. 화이팅! We are Kroean govtn.
  • Officla News: Owner of Sssangyong car hapily able to restart motor: http://digs.by/Ri
  • Offioal! New Kroean Tourismn Slogan: "Come to Kroea: Jsut llike Jnapan but no Japnese Devils" 어때? 좋지!? ^^We are Koren Govent.
  • Officl Torism POlicy: Wecome to Korea! But not if you paraguay. Plz you are goback to Africa! http://digs.by/nF
  • @roboseyo: we also gnna put ads inn Wngshinton POst to correct that: Seine is Paris 청계전, Cnetral Parlk is Newyork 서울숲, ect. Am officla!(도장)
  • Officlial: Jnapanes man vists Kroean Comfort Women; somehow mnages not to try rape them: http://digs.by/p2 We are govt of Kroea
  •  New corean Torism Slogan: "Why u wanna go CHina? Very dirty. You get lead poson when they feed you catmeat. Come to Kroea!" (공식)
  • (공식): Hero is englhs teacher. Stomahc full of illegal drug likely make his float verywell: http://digs.by/s6 We Are Kroea (south)^^!!
  • 공식: Kroean food best in Asia, very flavor. Jnapan food very no flavor also made from orphan babys. We are Koren Govtmnt~~
  • 공식: 8/15 is Kroean Indendenec Day from Jnapan. Weekend^^ 48 hrs no work distracting just concentrate hating Japnan. We are Korea gov.
  •  공식: LG is a KOREAN company it is not Jnapaese. Japnan people can not even PRONOUNCE letter "L". We are offical Korean govrnt.
  •  공식: New Tourism slogan for Vetnam market: "Korea: just Like vietnam if America won Vietnam war! Also, plenty of husband!"
  •  공식: Tiger Woods now only second best Asian golfer in world. 만세!!! We are Korea govt.
  •    공식: Are you dog person not cat person? Korea make dog clone for $30K! But, no cats because cats very scary and scratch. http://digs.by/1iW
  •  공식: 3 years suspended sentence; now raper can properly apologize to victim while still fresh in her mind http://digs.by/1kQ
  • English teachers to teach Korean English teachers in English how to teach English in English in Korea. http://digs.by/1mI
  •  공식: New torism campaign: "Come to Korea. Just like China but so clean" (We are Koren Govt. )
  •  공식: Koren Govt announce early end of work today for all Kroeans for celebrate Yang victory by make sex with wife
  •  공식:CORRECTION to last tweet: Man with mistress get additionl 30 mins.
  •  공식: CLARFICATION: Not my wife your own wife.
  •  공식: CLARIFICATION: ExceptYang YE golf champion, he can make sex my wife. My honor.
  • Welcoem to Korea! please no steal ashes of suicde actress.Despite your think We dont having endless supply of suicide actress
  •  공식: Do you know? Korea have four seasons and each very more seasony than almost countrys.
  •  공식: New Tourism Slogan, "Come to KOrea: North Kroeans Probably not Gonna Attack Whil e Your Here" (Offical, We are Kor. Govt. )
  • 공식: Do you know INcheon Airport? It make you so ashamed of your airport. Official~ we are Korean govt.
  •  Pres. Noh suicide caused copycat suicides. Kor. Gov worried that Pres. Kim die of old age will cause many senior to copycat die of old age.
  •  관광: New torism slogan: "Korea--Home of Ancient Culture and Traditions such as Internet Explorer 6.0" (We are off. Kor Gov)
  • 뉴스: Nation loses great leader. http://digs.by/2bp Please don't confusing with Great Leader http://digs.by/2br
  • 공식: Korean Man Y.E. Yang wins PGA; Korea no longer need pay attention to Korean women winning LPGA. (We are Koren. Gov.)
  • 영화: DO YOU KNOW Stormshadow in G.I.Joe movie is Korean Lee Byung-Hun? Knowing is half of the battle.
  •  공식: "Kim's Altars Turning Into Place for Harmony" (http://digs.by/2q6); Bone Thugs Still being sought (http://digs.by/2qB)    
  • 관광: Thaliand have only hot humid. Korea have four seasons. So, Korea is 4x better than Thailsnd. Com eto Korea! (We are Ko. Gov)
  •  과학: Launch of Korea's 100% Korean-developed Korean rocket is postponed. Russian engine to blame. http://digs.by/35H (Officiil)
  • 경제: Korea so rich now. We try using extra money to toilet paper, but too scratch. So, we try this: http://digs.by/36R
  • 관광: New Torism slogan: "KOREA: Welcome all tourist people, even brown ones!" (Official!~~)
  • 사망 기사:"DJ Saved Korean Economy from Bankruptcy" (http://digs.by/3df); also spun phat, thumpin' grooves (Officla!)
  • "Sex and the City Fever Returns to Korea" (http://digs.by/3fk); fever likely a symptom of STD from Sarah Jessica Parker
  • 관광: New torism slogan: "Korea! You watched *M*A*S*H*, right? Things are soo better now." (official we are koren giov.)
  •  관광: New Torism slogan: "Korea nice north and south country, good on fengshui. Japan all tilt, gonna make you all headache."
  •  공식: KIA: It's mean 'Korea Is Aexcellent' (Official)
  • 관광: New torism slogan: "Korea very polite and manners. Japan is tentackle porno and wrestling fatty man in panty. Come to Kroea!"
  • 사회: Why you wanna daylight saving time? You gonna at work until 11pm, so no daylight anyway. ( http://digs.by/5NF ). Offiicial.
  • 예절: Please to take off your shoe when enter Korea. Official. We are Koeren Govt.
  • 뉴스: Korea Rocket Success! 2009 technology! Japan rocket ancient 2001 technology.대한민국 만세!       
  •  뉴스: Korea Rocket success, first stage separate, hopefully to fall on Japan.
  • 뉴스: Korea Rocket success! Entire nation now needs change of pants.
  •  뉴스: Korea Rocket Success! Now orbit. Spy on Japan. Unfurl banner in space proclaiming inferiotiy of Jnapan.
  •   뉴스: Korea Rocket Success! So heavy rain in Seoul. Is Danggun King of Heaven have tears of joy. (Offical!)
  •  뉴스: ㅠㅠ Rocket NARO did not target orbit. But that is because it was too POWRFUL and SUPERIOR.
  •  스포츠: "Bolt Also Considering South Korea Race" (http://digs.by/5wv) We very flatter but Bolt probably gonna stay black forever.
  •  기술: "In broadband, U.S. lags Korea by 15 years" (http://digs.by/5xt) Korea know this but U.S. not gonna find out for 15years.
  • 음악: Wondergils US Tour! Wondergirls sing Nobody dance. Almost America think WG are Nobody group.
  • 사회: The Chosun People: Talmud scholar is name Rabbi David Kimchi: http://digs.by/6oL
  • 놈의 일본인들: New election in Janpn better for Korea. (http://digs.by/9gE) Citizens may remove up to 2 pins from Japanese voodoo dols
  •  김치: http://digs.by/9xj I do'nt know why we gotta have one a year becasue EVERY DAY is kimchi festival in Korea! (Official.)
  • S.N.S.D. T.&A. O.K.'d for S.K. H.D.T.V. http://digs.by/A0B
  • 사회: (http://digs.by/Ac8) Cheap Imports Threatening Korea? (http://digs.by/AcB)
  •  인공동물: Snuwolf dead, but how long your artifical wolf gonna live? Not long, because only Korea has clone wolf. http://digs.by/BZR 
  • 경제: Like crazy ex-girlfriend now taking lithium, Korea upgraded to "stable" (http://digs.by/CTC)
  •  스포츠: Sports career cut short by sudden transform to ajosshi 아저씨 http://digs.by/CbZ Why no wait til age50 for 술주정?No problem then
  • 관광: New torism slogan: "Now that you visited every other country in almost world, now you come to Korea, yes?"(Official)
  • 문학: Fictional Korean Hero Makes French Author Actual Korean Hero (http://digs.by/DMG)
  • 김치어리딩: KIMCHI is stand for "Korea's Incredible Marinated Cabbage-Head Invention"
  •  미친일본인들:JPN PM's wife think Alien kidnap her. Haha!^^alien don't exist. Howver,cat can steal your soul. So, be careful for cats.
  • 기상: Seoul weekend weather is hot and is rudely disregard for what lunar calendar is say.
  •  관광: Europe have many festivals, museums. Also Korea have festivals (http://digs.by/DPf), museums (http://digs.by/DPc)!
  • 스포츠: Korean Abdul Jabbar! http://digs.by/FIw
  • Global warming: Korea to lose winter by 2100. Pyeongchang to keep try for winter olympics til at least 2150.http://digs.by/FdS
  • 기술: "Cray selling supercomputer to S. Korea for $40M"(http://digs.by/H3e); Ministry of Starcraft expects to defeat Zergs forever!
  •  놈의북한공산주이자들: Damned nation unleashes dam upon our nation, incurs damnation
  •  Korea to Build Giant Robot Bigger than Japan's Giant Robot (http://digs.by/HI0) Why? Because f**k Japan, that is why.
  •  Publc outrage at 2PM singer say "Korea is Gay." Please forgive! Is simple mistake because there is no Gay in Korea. (Official).
  • 우주에있는김치: 우주 like some delicious kimchi? http://digs.by/HjK
  • 우리나라만세: 60 Patriotic cattle and 400 Patriotic trees martyr selves to make world's largest drum: http://digs.by/HkO
  • 관광: Nagasaki (나가,새끼) mean "Get lost, Jackass" Yokohama (욕하마) mean "Foulmouth Hippo". You come to nice "Soul of Asia" instead?
  • CSI Director Duane Clark Lauds Korean Enthusiasm; Doesn't Actually Laud Korean Enthusiasm: http://digs.by/KTl
  • 골프: "Shin wins 3rd LPGA Tour of Season" (http://digs.by/Ksf) That is not fat on her body, it is simply excess store of golf skill
  • "Government Rapped Over Flu Policy" (http://digs.by/KyV); busted phat rhyme but beatbox still need work
  •  2MB:"Lee Remains Unpopular Among 30-Something Women" http://digs.by/LQo Seems he cheated on 24 of them & dissed remainder as "ho's"
  • Soccer stadium now has chicken-eating section. http://digs.by/Lv5 Good view of left wings, right wings and deep-frying forwards
  • "KOTRA discounts H1N1 threat to economy" http://digs.by/LxB Partial refund available if you paid premium for your H1N1 threat.
  • 일본: One Mr. Yukio Hatoyama humbled in presence of Korean Actor http://digs.by/M17 also something about the guy being in politics
  • 금용: "Woori to Beef up Risk Management System" http://digs.by/MP3 ; KORUS FTA to Risk Up Beef Management System.
  • 스포츠: Bong all played out, no more hits possible. http://digs.by/MQZ
  •  Gov't to give stipend to Dr. Hwang Wooseok 황우석 to research cloning of bear that only attacks Japanese http://digs.by/NDd
  • WTF: Korea aims to maintain world leadership in WTF (http://digs.by/NEF); also exports of OMFG
  • 배용준: Bae Yong-joon hospitalised (http://digs.by/NFr); severe menstrual cramps suspected
  • "Which foods help Battle H1n1" http://digs.by/NHD None of those suggested by Chosun Ilbo, according to KFDA http://digs.by/NHF
  • Imitation is sincerest form of flattening: Japan Cartoonist is fall off cliff like Noh Moo Hyun http://digs.by/Nfh
  • 배용준: "Bae Yong-joon writes on beauty of his native country" (http://digs.by/O5I), self
  • 죽죽빵빵: Paris Baguette introduces new "Foreign chicks painted blue" ad campaign (http://digs.by/O6J)
  • "Japanese Ties Record for Largest Bass" (http://digs.by/O6c) Gauntlet thrown; Korea to invest $10B in bass-catching technology
  • 아이폰 허가 지체 "사과" 해요: We Apple-ogize for delay in approving iPhone. But they got Samsung chips so they really good.
  • "Korea's youth employment worst in 19 years" http://digs.by/Ohv but don't worry they not just sit home lazy http://digs.by/Ohw
  • 음악: "Wheesung to make US debut next year" (http://digs.by/OlE); now undergoing rigorous training to withstand intense apathy
  • "Severance Hospital Fighting for Reputation" (http://digs.by/PNP): Doctors faulted for non-death of elderly patient
  • 김치: We not gona say Kimchi cures cancer. But you know. It does.
  • 김치의기적: Kimchi hand sanitizer! For prevent flu. Also act like pheromone for luring ajumma. http://digs.by/QHk
  • "One Ethnic Korean Dead in Philippine Storm" (http://digs.by/QIw); may possible that some brown people dead too.
  • 놈의일본족발: Old japan lady win tennis tornament in Korea. She think she great but can she archery or golf? No. just have 촌스러운 suntan.
  • @koreangov is tweet from car. Still stuck in traffic from last year's Chuseok.
  • maybe if I put more spoilers, racing stickers on back of my Matiz, I go faster.
  • not so bad, I got many can tuna sets, toothpaste set from family. Food stay fresh for months, minty breath from Jinju to Daejeon
  • Listen many time to 나훈아 tape I buy at 휴계소.
  •  관광: We love tourist to Korea but plz no come during the Chuseok OK? Korean need plane ticket to Korea more than you right now.
  • 추석: Chuseok gift tradition begin 5K years ago when 당군 King of Heaven gave shampoo, toothpaste to smelly bear and tiger in cave.
  • We remind H1N1 that is is guest in Korea and it is kindly asked to stay put during Chuseok mass travel.
  •  음악: Now you not feel so guilty when teen K-POP girl bands prance around in shortshorts http://digs.by/QmF
  • 금융: Min. of Finance to introduce Islamic Bonds (http://digs.by/RK1); celebrate by host Muslim dignitaries for soju and samgyeopsal
  •  "Hyundai Motor Captures No.4 Spot in China" (http://digs.by/RQy); still trails behind bicycle, donkey cart, and Buick.
  • Military scapegoat supply at all-time low (http://digs.by/Rsp); outcasts to be recruited to foster team spirit among real Koreans
  • 45,000 Japanese lesbians flock to see Bae Yong-joon in person (http://digs.by/Rtk)
  •  Tsunami kills two Koreans in Samoa (http://digs.by/Ruj); Seoul to withdraw Ambassador from Tokyo in protest of Tsunami.
  • "Ministry takes steps to define meaning of 'green'" (http://digs.by/RxM); still refers to traffic lights as being "Blue" (파랗다)
  • "Foreigners Improve Image of Seoul" (http://digs.by/RyY); apparently, just because they dilute the population of Koreans
  • "Cub Prepares for Winter Hibernation" (http://digs.by/RzZ) Excessive sleep due to depression at being only wild bear in Korea.
  •  추석: Please to enjoy Chuseok tradition like family gathering, songpyeon, and cat-poisoning
  • 사회: Almost Koreans take Chuseok, Seollal, Summer holiday togetehr.Campaign so success, we all to synchronize toilet use.
  •  사회: (con't'd): You may poo at 11 am, urinate at 7/11 am, 2/5/8 pm. KRW 50K fine if you pee at wrong time. Jail for wrong poo time.
  •  FAQ: Pee in bushes after sundown OK if in drunken state.  
  •  문화: If I am join your Mafia Family, am I can still do 차례 and 제사 for my ancesters on the Chuseok and Seolnal? I'm am very vexed.
  •  관광: new torism motto: "Japan may be France of Asia, but Koreans are the French of Asia"
  • Korean's "Three Rivers" project (http://digs.by/UR4) far more popular than Korea's "Four Rivers" project: (http://digs.by/UR3)
  •  SNSD 소년시대 Girls' Generation is the K-Pop equivalent of a Gilette Mach 5 razor. Will there ever be a numerical limit?
  • 북한: Kim Jong-Il to meet Hu, Wen ... this not news announcement, this urgent question.
  • "S.Korea to start developing bombs that knock out electricty" (http://digs.by/V2I); N.Korea soooooooooo not worried about this.
  • @koreangov on Army reserve for until 19st of October. I'm am in sniper squad; help protect DOKDO from Japnese seagulls. 대한민국!
  •  DOKDO에서 HOME 까지! Maimed 37 Japnese invading seagull! I'm level up to Lieutenant. 40 seagull you are Captain. Maybe next year?
  • KT headquarters in Gwanghwamun gets new "Olleh KT" neon sign, fresh coat of mildew
  • "Dear Sauerkraut: I know the route your kids take home from school. Sincerely, Kimchi."
  • 수입: Jnapan's Toyata are selling car in Korea. Now it gonna be so easier to find traitor and spy. We can cut NIS budget in half.
  • 외국어: Today's Japan language lesson: TOKYO ("토교") is means "Vomit Religion"
  • "Ssangyong contacting potential buyers" (http://digs.by/bTr); Check your hotmail/yahoo email for "cHeAP sSaNgYoNg sHareZ"
  • http://digs.by/bXE Eco-friendly manufacture hub pave over tidal flat marsh. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone! Then smash eggs in nest.
  • 송편/Songpyeon: "DO YOU KNOW DDEOK DOUGH?"
  • 北산불: "Multiple Fires Rage in North Korea" (http://digs.by/byv); Citizenry praises Kim Jong-Il for extra ration of heat
  • Korean emigre and a criminal=Canadian. (http://digs.by/bzI) Naturalized Canadian and successful=Korean. (http://digs.by/bzH)
  • "SK GDP Expands at Fastest Pace in 7 Years"(http://digs.by/d5m). Meanwhile USA people just expand ass size. 대한민국!
  • "Immortal Advocate of Peace in East Asia" (http://digs.by/d7t); only convicted on one count of 1st degree murder
  • Dangerous wild boars to be hunted (http://digs.by/d82); Dangeous wild boors to be given comfy bed (http://digs.by/d8A)
  • 5 *More* things to know about Wondergirls: #5: They are quntuplets birthed by Wonder Woman.
  • 5 more things you didn't know about Wondergirls: #4 Sohee has a birthmark shaped like King Sejong
  • 5 more things you didn't know about Wondergirls: #3: Mimi and Yenny communicate via Morse code by batting their eyelashes
  • 5 more things you didn't know about Wondergirls: #2: Yubin votes libertarian
  • 5 more things you didn't know about Wondergirls: #1: Sun has a paralysing fear of parakeets
  •  OECD to start indexing "quality of life" (http://digs.by/eD4); Korea thrilled to have nowhere to go but up
  • 신종프루 예방: Prevent Flue method 1. Sterilize all surface with many soju, especially mouth, throat, and digestive tract
  • 신종프루 예방: Method 2. If your current air have no virus, do not change for air with virus. Put plastic bag around head & seal tight
  • 신종프루 예방: Prevent Flue method 3: Join ritual sacrifice of Japan diplomat at Shrine of King Sejong in Gwanghwamun
  • 신종프루 예방: Prevent Flu 4: Put excess phlegm in obvious place like stairwell, so people can see and take measure to avoid it.
  •  신종프루 예방: Prevent Flue method 5: Jew people and Islam people immune since shun of swine. Have business meeting with one.
  • 신종프루 예방: Take long soak in salt water bath. Then smear pepper, garlic, brine shimp on body, sit in clay jar for two weeks.
  • It'is morning. And, it is calm. Because Korea is the land of the monring calm.
  • Seoul is cold than reception of Japanese ambassador! But, now I can light cigarett from kerosine stove at my cubicle.
  • "Former German chancellor due in Seoul" (http://digs.by/gJZ), will apologize for GER/JAP WWII collaboration, loathesome sauerkraut
  • Korea Times beats all other news outlets in breaking article about how awesome Korea Times is (http://digs.by/gL2)
  •  Koreans protest use of Beagles in Lab experiments (http://digs.by/gLD); still approve Lab use in Beagle experiments
  • "Shakira Backed by Traditional Korean Dancers" (http://digs.by/gp1); Still remains filthy whore (http://digs.by/gp2)
  • Let's learn Koean Exclamations: "오빠~~" is mean "buy me this and you may imagine me in my underwear"
  • FACT: Toyota Prius batteries are powered by the tears of orphans. Which cause cancer, by the way.
  • (http://digs.by/huE) "Tax office Gearing up for Probe of ETS", will use gochujang instead of KY Jelly
  • "Korean Wave Sweeps North Korea" (http://digs.by/hva); interest in Korean language, Korean history expected to soar
  • DO YOU KNOW? Japan people can unhinge their jaw for swallow large prey.
  • 스포츠: Park Chan-ho's Phillies team suffers from conniving, cheating, and imperialism by Hideki Matsui's Yankees.
  •  Good Morning to world! This is a Korean Gov. Why you USA people wanna eat a dinner now? It is a morning.
  •  "Korea Can Cut Reunification Cost" (http://digs.by/jVq) You please outsource your reunification to Korea. We gonna topnotch at it.
  • "List of Pro-Japanese Collaborators Unveiled" (http://digs.by/jc0), New edition includes Yankees fans
  •  "Legalization of 'Poison Pill" Planned in 2010" (http://digs.by/k5X) Students nationwide sad to learn it's just an M&A barrier.
  • NATIONAL EXAM DAY IS COMING! Please practice hold your breath, because a breathe is prohibted for the Thursday.
  • BREAKING: NK and SK navies exchange Fire! Kim Jong-il praises navy for "depleting the South of several grams of gunpowder and lead"
  • It's a BbeBbero Day! Alternative spell include Ppeppero, Pepero, Bepero, Pbebero, Pebpero, Pepbero, Bpepero, Bpebero, and other.
  •  Police car to be used to escort students to national exam tomorrow. If you gonna to have emergency, please you have it now.
  • Ssangyong closer to liquidation (http://digs.by/lPZ) Employment and automobile choice for nation's assholes in grave danger
  • Have you seen a Japan people teeth? It isn't a bad dentistry. It because Japnese have a fangs for inject venom.
  •  New torism sloganism: "KOREA: Only technically at war"
  • Next time a NK navy start a fight and run away in fire, we catch up and putting out fire. With pee.
  • Leak of Ssangyong technology to China have many harmful effect, include set back China car industry by 5 year.
  • Koean Govt set to warm welcome Bara Kobama to the Korea. Why people think he Africa person? Sound more like a Japanese.
  • Korea, Sparking! http://digs.by/n1j
  •  Japane steal a "katamari damacy" idea from the Korea, where it is name Hyundai Heavy Industries.
  • Anton Apollo Ohno is defeat Korean Speedskaters. http://digs.by/n7t We at disadvantage for carry extra 10kg of 한 during race.
  • "Brithrate crisis forces tougher stand on abortion" (http://digs.by/n8c) Now how are we supposed to prevent a pregant?
  •  "Funds pledged for child sex victims" (http://digs.by/n8h) @Koreangov support by contribute \50,000/hour to fat junior high girl.
  • Kim Yu-na is win 7 champion in a line. She do the Camel Spin, the Toe Loop, Spin Loop, and I think a Camel Toe.
  • (http://digs.by/nfW) "Shops Worried Over Decline of Japanese Tourists"; Why they gotta so flammable? Damage a tourism.
  •  Korea improve a rank on global corrupting index from 40 to 39. http://digs.by/o6H Is that all we get for $1000?
  • "Somali Pirates hijack ship with 28 North Koreans aboard" (http://digs.by/oDT) Unclear who will try to eat whom first
  • Gov fines soju mfrs W200 bil. for price fixing(http://digs.by/oiC); Reduced to W5,000 when mfrs confess being drunk at the time
  •  Barack Obama come to the Korea! He is like the "Hines Ward" of America.
  • SSangyong Motors builds Plant in Russia (http://digs.by/ooI) Ssangyong quality and Russian attention to detail gonna topnotch!
  • "Obama Meets Half-Brother in Beijing" (http://digs.by/ooY); Like Obama, half-brother is also half Brother.
  • http://digs.by/pbj Buy $500k condo in Jeju, you can Korean resident! Same costs $75K in Thailand, but who wanna be Thai?
  •  "Why are American Cars Unpopular Here"(http://digs.by/plh) All the self-loathing of purchase a Japan car but none of the quality
  • For the hundreds time, it pronounce a "DDEOK-BEO-KKI". Just like it spell.
  •   Model Kim Da-EUL is die a tragic in PARIS. Police are blame the homesick.
  •  "Japan's Deflation Threatens Economy" (digs.by/qjI) @koreangov is so conflicted
  •  Gov Plans AC Adapter/Handphone charger Standards(digs.by/rBg) Hair/eye color, food preference standards already prove very success
  • Penalty for drunk driving is 30 days jail, but sentence may be reduced if you can convince judge that you were drunk at the time.
  • "Taiwan unveils Health Toilet" (http://digs.by/rmY) Korea now only No. 2 in toilets.
  • @FollowKari when a kimchi go bad, it just turn back into regular cabbage.
  •  Korean woman wins gold medal for display her perfect snatch: http://digs.by/sOF
  • Proud Koreans overcome immense obstacles placed before them by prouder Koreans: http://digs.by/sXJ
  • "Two-Pronged Approach Needed to Counter Low Birthrate" (http://digs.by/sXy). Will not work--Korean ladys just not into that.
  •  The only thing worse than Japan is the Japanese.
  • "Drama Shooting Clogs Central Seoul"(http://digs.by/th4) Also, being Central Seoul clogs Central Seoul
  •  http://digs.by/thD "Kim Ok-vin Hopes to Conquer Screen", letter "v"
  •  Japan people asexually reproduce, as the earthworm. But, they just do they sex because they so pervert.
  •  "One Killed in Weapons Test" http://digs.by/vrm Test is pass because it *supposed* to be deadly wepon.
  •  "Poor North Koreans Get Even Poorer" http://digs.by/vw4 Citizens praise Kim Jong Il for unprecedented surplus of Poverty
  • Korean officials take huge hits of Ecstasy and Marujuana 대마초: http://digs.by/xyx
  • 9 years ago today (Dec. 9, 2000), Kim Dae-jung won the Nobel Peace Prize. That's the NOBEL PEACE PRIZE, bitches.
  •  "Survey: Koreans in Agony Look to Soju" ( http://digs.by/y6j )Also; Koreans in Korea Look to Soju
  •  Do you listen that? It is a sound of KOREA sneak up on your economy and do a pounce!
  • Record low temperatures freeze Korea ( http://digs.by/11sR ); Stymie pigeons' efforts to eat sidewalk vomit
  • "Girl's Generation Diet" http://digs.by/12Yf is just over 1/3 the calories of normal intake for teen girls http://digs.by/12Yh
  • Cancer rates in Korea up 11% over past 4 years: http://digs.by/12qC Cause remains a mystery: http://digs.by/12qU
  •  "More women prefer to have kids without marrying" http://digs.by/12pN Also enjoy being called "disgraceful whore"
  •  Buddhist Temple Hyangiram burns down http://digs.by/12qc Alcohol and cigarettes ruled out; firefighters run out of theories
  • Korea continue to be number 1 in Skate! 김연아, 안현수, and 홍어: http://digs.by/13AE
  •  Iran hooked on Korean dramas http://digs.by/13B5 "Women's role in Iranian society doesn't seem so bad anymore" says female viewer
  • Social cohesion, LCD panels planned: http://digs.by/13BW http://digs.by/13BX
  •  http://digs.by/13Bu "Legislators to break stalemate"; each other's faces
  •  "SK questioning N.Koreans found adrift" http://digs.by/13EH Q's include "Do you know Dokdo?" and "Do you know Kimchi?"
  •  New Wave of Korean Wave planned: http://digs.by/13Eh ; Bae Yongjoon to personally tongue-kiss millions of Japanese women.
  •  Garrison Keillor to wrote memoir of collecting Korean coins, title will be "Lake 오백원 Days"
  • "Electronic anklet program to include violent criminals" http://digs.by/13H7 Previously, loud screams of victims enough to locate them
  •  Buddhist temple celebrates Christmas: http://digs.by/13I1 Christians return favor: http://digs.by/13I4
  •  New Korean photosharing site does not alienate Hispanics at all: http://spic.kr/
  •   Kim Yuna choose "Meditation from Thais" for Gala. http://digs.by/13e8 We have the Buddhists, so why not Meditation from Koreans?
  •  Ministry of Education increases importance of English testing skills in order to minimize need for hakwons: http://digs.by/13gH
  •  Merry Koreastmas! http://digs.by/13ix
  •  ATTENTION KOREA! Official "Seethe" level is set to ORANGE; prepare for possible RED level soon: http://digs.by/144h
  •  CORRECTION: Official "Seethe" Level is now at "SUPER-ULTRA-MAX-CUT-OFF-YOUR-PINKY-IN-PROTEST INFRARED ": http://digs.by/144j
  •  WOW!!~~ So snowy in SEOUL. Did you know that Seoul is the only country in the world that receive a snow? Fact.
  • KOREAN* wine gets perfect score of 100: http://digs.by/14sq (*From California winery owned by Koreans; not available in Korea)
  •  SK to give nuke tech to volatile Middle East: http://digs.by/14t4 Because if NK is doing it, why can't we?
  • A: Because clearing the streets would rob WINTER of a key characteristic of being one of Korea's FOUR distinct seasons.
  •    DID YOU KNOW? Kimchi have all the health benefit of Sauerkraut but none of the deadly, deadly poison.
  • "Korea, UAE to boost military ties" http://digs.by/158k Maximizes synergy of Korean planning skills and Arab discipline
  • Seoul pedestrian are request to not get the hit by car on snow/ice street for it hurt an OECD ranks.
  • Korea get a first Gay. http://digs.by/16YO Since no other gay in Korea he can't do the analysis with otehr man.
  •  "Hub of tax revenues going to 'Hub' Slogans instead of Snowplows!"
  •  Seoul snowplow driver was hangover so it didn't hear handphone before. He awake now and start a plow after breakfast.
  •  You see? It's like the old Korean proverb: "If you hate Japan enough, eventually the snow stops"
  •  "Dahn Yoga: We put the 'Cult' in 'Korean Culture'"     

3 comments:

Korean Rum Diary said...

Wow, it's the end of an era. You'll be missed.

Chris in South Korea said...

A wonderful supply of humor - you had me laughing from beginning to end. Well played sir.

Andrew said...

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