Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Olimpics is finish

@koreangov did one another semester in VANCOUVER of Canadia. Did you know Korea is win the whole Olimpic? Kim Yuna win 14 gold medals and then skate over Anton Ohno and carve out he's gall bladder with triple lutz. Then she sell a gallbladder to the Chinaman for penis medicine and give money to orphan babies in the house of the unwanted child in Korea. Then remind Ohno that he was unwanted child. Ohno's mother was abandon him after it was hatched for the shame of do the hump a treacherous Japanese man.

KIM, Yuna has generosity like MOON, Geunyeoung but not invite the punch in she's face like MOON, Geunyeoung.  And you will please learn to pronounce correctly "YUNA" not "YUNA".

And, Ohno has a such queer name~~ Oh! No! So you can laugh him so hearty. But, there is many historical evidence that Ohno murdered his mother and then disgraced her the body.

Next year, Korea get more gold skate medals! And then again in PYEONGCHANG 2014! Which have the luscious perilla frutescens and so savory cucimis melo var. makuwa which is traditional Korean fruit which you must familiar the taste from the cucumis velo var mukawa ice Cream. 

So, @koreangov was study hard in Vancouver and improve English so vastly.  Are you can tell? But, @koreangov return home in our country now for the blonde woman in Vancouver get the retraining order. I tell a Judger I go to Vancouver for retrain the English and he tell me to go home Korea now because stockings on blonde woman are illegal. Korean woman have the modest and wear stockings but Canadia is so crazy people!  Blonde woman was so fickle and shun my gift set of cooking oil on Seollal. Also shun love letter I write in blood which was laborious. I very love her. 

So, return to work! But also so busy with TOEIC so the frequent posting is not very contemplate.

Also, earlier post was a HACKER! I ring up the immigrant squadron and they spirit away the unqualified foreigner so hastily! If there isn't the several several ActiveX in my computer, maybe it was very much worse than just a HACKER post the Officil Weblog of the Repulic of KOREA(SOUTH)!

Friday, January 8, 2010

안녕히 가세요!

Thanks again for reading @koreangov.  Why am I giving it up? I just lost the muse. I felt that the quality of my posts was beginning to slide a bit recently, and wanted to quit while I was ahead.

I'll also state clearly and in no uncertain terms that both the Twitter page and this blog were farce, spoof, satire, NOT official, and not sanctioned by any governmental body. However, it is truly telling that many people thought this WAS real...not despite the anti-Japanese rhetoric and statements of fierce national pride, but apparently because of them.  Those were focal points of @koreangov precisely because much of those sentiments are grounded in mere conditioned reflex― and to that extent deserve to be mocked into nonexistence.  I will not say that anti-Japan sentiment is entirely unfounded. There are some legitimate grievances.

Also for the record: I don't hate Japan or China or anything else my imaginary public servant office drone twitterer hates. Well... with one exception-- I really do hold Ssangyong Motors in very low regard. Both for its products and the behavior of its labor force. 

I'm thrilled that @koreangov actually played a constructive role in bringing the page to public awareness (with the majority of credit going to Brian in Jeollanamdo) and seeing positive public pressure resulting in something actually, truly engaging of expats and tourists in Korea. I imagine that much of the sense of frustration that expats in Korea feel stems from feeling helpless in being able to fix something that should just be so easy to fix― whether merely grammar and syntax errors or more considerable injustices. Happily, this one got fixed. That felt fantastic.

By the way, I shudder every time I hear the word "foreigner." Back home, people that use the word "foreigner" in earnest to describe an immigrant are almost always doing so in an expression of xenophobia if not straight-up racism. Let's encourage the use of "expat" or "visitor to Korea" if at all possible. Or even just "tourist."

I love Korea, and feel that despite not being Korean myself, I feel I have earned the right to poke fun at Korea.  I work here. I live here. I'm raising a family here. I pay my taxes here. That makes me a member of Korean society.  I will not kid myself-- there are parts of Korean culture and language that will always remain foreign to me. But I'll never understand a good deal of western culture either.  I love Korea because it has so much potential. I stay because every day I feel things getting better. Cleaner. Faster. Fairer. More creative. More open minded.

I do not believe as some do that Korea displays unfounded and excessive pride. There is plenty for people to be proud of in Korea, and plenty for the world to envy.  I do, however, believe that much of that pride is misdirected. It is not, in my humble opinion, the alphabet, kimchi, or the distinctive seasons that will inspire and dazzle the world any more than the cuisine or climate of any other country will. Can you imagine the Arabic-speaking world promoting itself on the strength of its script or (mostly) desert environment? Heck, Ethiopians have a unique alphabet and 5000 years of history, but I bet that doesn't really excite anyone outside of Ethiopia much either.

What Korea should be proud of is the fact that it has turned itself from a smoldering pile of rubble 60 years ago into one of the richest countries in the world, not by winning the geological lottery and pumping oil, nor by luring tourist dollars to its tropical beaches. It has become successful through blood, sweat, and tears; through strong families in which the parents readily sacrifice everything for their children, and in which the children readily repay that debt to their aging parents. It has made its rise using the same means available to ALL nations, but it is one of the rare ones to actually roll up its sleeves and get to it. Work hard. Be loyal. Show your gratitude. THAT'S the uniqueness and greatness of Korean culture. Unfortunately, you can't build a tourism campaign on that.

Can there be improvements? Sure. My two cents of advice for the REAL Korean government? Focus on enforcing the laws. That's it. Get the thousands of police conscripts off the idling riot buses and, when there is no riot to quell, get them on the streets issuing parking tickets, traffic tickets, littering tickets and otherwise making sure that the laws on the books are ones that the people (and foreign investors) can rely on. Ensure that there are disincentives to bad behavior, and reliable means of address for victims other than fistfights, arson, violent and destructive protest, or other extra-legal "solutions."  Investment and tourism, and yes, improved global brand rankings will follow.

I'll get a personal twitter account going and follow a bunch of people who had done me that kindness on the @koreangov account.

Thanks again!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Tweets

Thank you, everyone, for indulging me in offering my commentary on Korean society.  Below is a list of most of the tweets I put out; I've excluded the ones that did not include original content or in retrospect, were lame, fell flat, leaned too far into mean-spiritedness, or were otherwise not worth keeping. The complete list is still up on the twitter page

I'll write a more personal farewell to @koreangov in a separate post. 

In chronological order:
  • Jpan have earth vibration of 6.4 becasue Danggun King of Heaven must angry for Dokdo! Korea numbr 1^^ We are Kroean Governmenty.  
  • Come to KRoea! Hub of Cloneing! But there cn only be one Kroea. Evn tho there arre two.
  •  Kim Yeon A will olympic gold when skating to James bond music. "You ONly Live Two Times" good movie bcuz james bond kills Jnapanese
  • Ofical Govrnment Policy: Welcme to Kroea! Be tourism, but dont touching our woman.
  • Offical: Visit Kroea Year 2010-2012! Visit Jnpan year is 1 year but our year is 3 years so 3x better tahn Jnapan!
  • Offiocal: Sure Japnan very clean but in creepy way like Hsopital. Come to Kroea!
  • Ofioal: Canandian Woman is Candian, but gets electdf to Canadia Senate and becoems Korean because!
  • Kim Yeon A and Meow Asada reveal Olympic strategitiies: Asada planniing to cheat
  • Oficial: Ssangyong means "two dragions'. Becasue two dragons make many smokes and fire like Ssnangyong cars. 화이팅! We are Kroean govtn.
  • Officla News: Owner of Sssangyong car hapily able to restart motor:
  • Offioal! New Kroean Tourismn Slogan: "Come to Kroea: Jsut llike Jnapan but no Japnese Devils" 어때? 좋지!? ^^We are Koren Govent.
  • Officl Torism POlicy: Wecome to Korea! But not if you paraguay. Plz you are goback to Africa!
  • @roboseyo: we also gnna put ads inn Wngshinton POst to correct that: Seine is Paris 청계전, Cnetral Parlk is Newyork 서울숲, ect. Am officla!(도장)
  • Officlial: Jnapanes man vists Kroean Comfort Women; somehow mnages not to try rape them: We are govt of Kroea
  •  New corean Torism Slogan: "Why u wanna go CHina? Very dirty. You get lead poson when they feed you catmeat. Come to Kroea!" (공식)
  • (공식): Hero is englhs teacher. Stomahc full of illegal drug likely make his float verywell: We Are Kroea (south)^^!!
  • 공식: Kroean food best in Asia, very flavor. Jnapan food very no flavor also made from orphan babys. We are Koren Govtmnt~~
  • 공식: 8/15 is Kroean Indendenec Day from Jnapan. Weekend^^ 48 hrs no work distracting just concentrate hating Japnan. We are Korea gov.
  •  공식: LG is a KOREAN company it is not Jnapaese. Japnan people can not even PRONOUNCE letter "L". We are offical Korean govrnt.
  •  공식: New Tourism slogan for Vetnam market: "Korea: just Like vietnam if America won Vietnam war! Also, plenty of husband!"
  •  공식: Tiger Woods now only second best Asian golfer in world. 만세!!! We are Korea govt.
  •    공식: Are you dog person not cat person? Korea make dog clone for $30K! But, no cats because cats very scary and scratch.
  •  공식: 3 years suspended sentence; now raper can properly apologize to victim while still fresh in her mind
  • English teachers to teach Korean English teachers in English how to teach English in English in Korea.
  •  공식: New torism campaign: "Come to Korea. Just like China but so clean" (We are Koren Govt. )
  •  공식: Koren Govt announce early end of work today for all Kroeans for celebrate Yang victory by make sex with wife
  •  공식:CORRECTION to last tweet: Man with mistress get additionl 30 mins.
  •  공식: CLARFICATION: Not my wife your own wife.
  •  공식: CLARIFICATION: ExceptYang YE golf champion, he can make sex my wife. My honor.
  • Welcoem to Korea! please no steal ashes of suicde actress.Despite your think We dont having endless supply of suicide actress
  •  공식: Do you know? Korea have four seasons and each very more seasony than almost countrys.
  •  공식: New Tourism Slogan, "Come to KOrea: North Kroeans Probably not Gonna Attack Whil e Your Here" (Offical, We are Kor. Govt. )
  • 공식: Do you know INcheon Airport? It make you so ashamed of your airport. Official~ we are Korean govt.
  •  Pres. Noh suicide caused copycat suicides. Kor. Gov worried that Pres. Kim die of old age will cause many senior to copycat die of old age.
  •  관광: New torism slogan: "Korea--Home of Ancient Culture and Traditions such as Internet Explorer 6.0" (We are off. Kor Gov)
  • 뉴스: Nation loses great leader. Please don't confusing with Great Leader
  • 공식: Korean Man Y.E. Yang wins PGA; Korea no longer need pay attention to Korean women winning LPGA. (We are Koren. Gov.)
  • 영화: DO YOU KNOW Stormshadow in G.I.Joe movie is Korean Lee Byung-Hun? Knowing is half of the battle.
  •  공식: "Kim's Altars Turning Into Place for Harmony" (; Bone Thugs Still being sought (    
  • 관광: Thaliand have only hot humid. Korea have four seasons. So, Korea is 4x better than Thailsnd. Com eto Korea! (We are Ko. Gov)
  •  과학: Launch of Korea's 100% Korean-developed Korean rocket is postponed. Russian engine to blame. (Officiil)
  • 경제: Korea so rich now. We try using extra money to toilet paper, but too scratch. So, we try this:
  • 관광: New Torism slogan: "KOREA: Welcome all tourist people, even brown ones!" (Official!~~)
  • 사망 기사:"DJ Saved Korean Economy from Bankruptcy" (; also spun phat, thumpin' grooves (Officla!)
  • "Sex and the City Fever Returns to Korea" (; fever likely a symptom of STD from Sarah Jessica Parker
  • 관광: New torism slogan: "Korea! You watched *M*A*S*H*, right? Things are soo better now." (official we are koren giov.)
  •  관광: New Torism slogan: "Korea nice north and south country, good on fengshui. Japan all tilt, gonna make you all headache."
  •  공식: KIA: It's mean 'Korea Is Aexcellent' (Official)
  • 관광: New torism slogan: "Korea very polite and manners. Japan is tentackle porno and wrestling fatty man in panty. Come to Kroea!"
  • 사회: Why you wanna daylight saving time? You gonna at work until 11pm, so no daylight anyway. ( ). Offiicial.
  • 예절: Please to take off your shoe when enter Korea. Official. We are Koeren Govt.
  • 뉴스: Korea Rocket Success! 2009 technology! Japan rocket ancient 2001 technology.대한민국 만세!       
  •  뉴스: Korea Rocket success, first stage separate, hopefully to fall on Japan.
  • 뉴스: Korea Rocket success! Entire nation now needs change of pants.
  •  뉴스: Korea Rocket Success! Now orbit. Spy on Japan. Unfurl banner in space proclaiming inferiotiy of Jnapan.
  •   뉴스: Korea Rocket Success! So heavy rain in Seoul. Is Danggun King of Heaven have tears of joy. (Offical!)
  •  뉴스: ㅠㅠ Rocket NARO did not target orbit. But that is because it was too POWRFUL and SUPERIOR.
  •  스포츠: "Bolt Also Considering South Korea Race" ( We very flatter but Bolt probably gonna stay black forever.
  •  기술: "In broadband, U.S. lags Korea by 15 years" ( Korea know this but U.S. not gonna find out for 15years.
  • 음악: Wondergils US Tour! Wondergirls sing Nobody dance. Almost America think WG are Nobody group.
  • 사회: The Chosun People: Talmud scholar is name Rabbi David Kimchi:
  • 놈의 일본인들: New election in Janpn better for Korea. ( Citizens may remove up to 2 pins from Japanese voodoo dols
  •  김치: I do'nt know why we gotta have one a year becasue EVERY DAY is kimchi festival in Korea! (Official.)
  • S.N.S.D. T.&A. O.K.'d for S.K. H.D.T.V.
  • 사회: ( Cheap Imports Threatening Korea? (
  •  인공동물: Snuwolf dead, but how long your artifical wolf gonna live? Not long, because only Korea has clone wolf. 
  • 경제: Like crazy ex-girlfriend now taking lithium, Korea upgraded to "stable" (
  •  스포츠: Sports career cut short by sudden transform to ajosshi 아저씨 Why no wait til age50 for 술주정?No problem then
  • 관광: New torism slogan: "Now that you visited every other country in almost world, now you come to Korea, yes?"(Official)
  • 문학: Fictional Korean Hero Makes French Author Actual Korean Hero (
  • 김치어리딩: KIMCHI is stand for "Korea's Incredible Marinated Cabbage-Head Invention"
  •  미친일본인들:JPN PM's wife think Alien kidnap her. Haha!^^alien don't exist. Howver,cat can steal your soul. So, be careful for cats.
  • 기상: Seoul weekend weather is hot and is rudely disregard for what lunar calendar is say.
  •  관광: Europe have many festivals, museums. Also Korea have festivals (, museums (!
  • 스포츠: Korean Abdul Jabbar!
  • Global warming: Korea to lose winter by 2100. Pyeongchang to keep try for winter olympics til at least 2150.
  • 기술: "Cray selling supercomputer to S. Korea for $40M"(; Ministry of Starcraft expects to defeat Zergs forever!
  •  놈의북한공산주이자들: Damned nation unleashes dam upon our nation, incurs damnation
  •  Korea to Build Giant Robot Bigger than Japan's Giant Robot ( Why? Because f**k Japan, that is why.
  •  Publc outrage at 2PM singer say "Korea is Gay." Please forgive! Is simple mistake because there is no Gay in Korea. (Official).
  • 우주에있는김치: 우주 like some delicious kimchi?
  • 우리나라만세: 60 Patriotic cattle and 400 Patriotic trees martyr selves to make world's largest drum:
  • 관광: Nagasaki (나가,새끼) mean "Get lost, Jackass" Yokohama (욕하마) mean "Foulmouth Hippo". You come to nice "Soul of Asia" instead?
  • CSI Director Duane Clark Lauds Korean Enthusiasm; Doesn't Actually Laud Korean Enthusiasm:
  • 골프: "Shin wins 3rd LPGA Tour of Season" ( That is not fat on her body, it is simply excess store of golf skill
  • "Government Rapped Over Flu Policy" (; busted phat rhyme but beatbox still need work
  •  2MB:"Lee Remains Unpopular Among 30-Something Women" Seems he cheated on 24 of them & dissed remainder as "ho's"
  • Soccer stadium now has chicken-eating section. Good view of left wings, right wings and deep-frying forwards
  • "KOTRA discounts H1N1 threat to economy" Partial refund available if you paid premium for your H1N1 threat.
  • 일본: One Mr. Yukio Hatoyama humbled in presence of Korean Actor also something about the guy being in politics
  • 금용: "Woori to Beef up Risk Management System" ; KORUS FTA to Risk Up Beef Management System.
  • 스포츠: Bong all played out, no more hits possible.
  •  Gov't to give stipend to Dr. Hwang Wooseok 황우석 to research cloning of bear that only attacks Japanese
  • WTF: Korea aims to maintain world leadership in WTF (; also exports of OMFG
  • 배용준: Bae Yong-joon hospitalised (; severe menstrual cramps suspected
  • "Which foods help Battle H1n1" None of those suggested by Chosun Ilbo, according to KFDA
  • Imitation is sincerest form of flattening: Japan Cartoonist is fall off cliff like Noh Moo Hyun
  • 배용준: "Bae Yong-joon writes on beauty of his native country" (, self
  • 죽죽빵빵: Paris Baguette introduces new "Foreign chicks painted blue" ad campaign (
  • "Japanese Ties Record for Largest Bass" ( Gauntlet thrown; Korea to invest $10B in bass-catching technology
  • 아이폰 허가 지체 "사과" 해요: We Apple-ogize for delay in approving iPhone. But they got Samsung chips so they really good.
  • "Korea's youth employment worst in 19 years" but don't worry they not just sit home lazy
  • 음악: "Wheesung to make US debut next year" (; now undergoing rigorous training to withstand intense apathy
  • "Severance Hospital Fighting for Reputation" ( Doctors faulted for non-death of elderly patient
  • 김치: We not gona say Kimchi cures cancer. But you know. It does.
  • 김치의기적: Kimchi hand sanitizer! For prevent flu. Also act like pheromone for luring ajumma.
  • "One Ethnic Korean Dead in Philippine Storm" (; may possible that some brown people dead too.
  • 놈의일본족발: Old japan lady win tennis tornament in Korea. She think she great but can she archery or golf? No. just have 촌스러운 suntan.
  • @koreangov is tweet from car. Still stuck in traffic from last year's Chuseok.
  • maybe if I put more spoilers, racing stickers on back of my Matiz, I go faster.
  • not so bad, I got many can tuna sets, toothpaste set from family. Food stay fresh for months, minty breath from Jinju to Daejeon
  • Listen many time to 나훈아 tape I buy at 휴계소.
  •  관광: We love tourist to Korea but plz no come during the Chuseok OK? Korean need plane ticket to Korea more than you right now.
  • 추석: Chuseok gift tradition begin 5K years ago when 당군 King of Heaven gave shampoo, toothpaste to smelly bear and tiger in cave.
  • We remind H1N1 that is is guest in Korea and it is kindly asked to stay put during Chuseok mass travel.
  •  음악: Now you not feel so guilty when teen K-POP girl bands prance around in shortshorts
  • 금융: Min. of Finance to introduce Islamic Bonds (; celebrate by host Muslim dignitaries for soju and samgyeopsal
  •  "Hyundai Motor Captures No.4 Spot in China" (; still trails behind bicycle, donkey cart, and Buick.
  • Military scapegoat supply at all-time low (; outcasts to be recruited to foster team spirit among real Koreans
  • 45,000 Japanese lesbians flock to see Bae Yong-joon in person (
  •  Tsunami kills two Koreans in Samoa (; Seoul to withdraw Ambassador from Tokyo in protest of Tsunami.
  • "Ministry takes steps to define meaning of 'green'" (; still refers to traffic lights as being "Blue" (파랗다)
  • "Foreigners Improve Image of Seoul" (; apparently, just because they dilute the population of Koreans
  • "Cub Prepares for Winter Hibernation" ( Excessive sleep due to depression at being only wild bear in Korea.
  •  추석: Please to enjoy Chuseok tradition like family gathering, songpyeon, and cat-poisoning
  • 사회: Almost Koreans take Chuseok, Seollal, Summer holiday togetehr.Campaign so success, we all to synchronize toilet use.
  •  사회: (con't'd): You may poo at 11 am, urinate at 7/11 am, 2/5/8 pm. KRW 50K fine if you pee at wrong time. Jail for wrong poo time.
  •  FAQ: Pee in bushes after sundown OK if in drunken state.  
  •  문화: If I am join your Mafia Family, am I can still do 차례 and 제사 for my ancesters on the Chuseok and Seolnal? I'm am very vexed.
  •  관광: new torism motto: "Japan may be France of Asia, but Koreans are the French of Asia"
  • Korean's "Three Rivers" project ( far more popular than Korea's "Four Rivers" project: (
  •  SNSD 소년시대 Girls' Generation is the K-Pop equivalent of a Gilette Mach 5 razor. Will there ever be a numerical limit?
  • 북한: Kim Jong-Il to meet Hu, Wen ... this not news announcement, this urgent question.
  • "S.Korea to start developing bombs that knock out electricty" (; N.Korea soooooooooo not worried about this.
  • @koreangov on Army reserve for until 19st of October. I'm am in sniper squad; help protect DOKDO from Japnese seagulls. 대한민국!
  •  DOKDO에서 HOME 까지! Maimed 37 Japnese invading seagull! I'm level up to Lieutenant. 40 seagull you are Captain. Maybe next year?
  • KT headquarters in Gwanghwamun gets new "Olleh KT" neon sign, fresh coat of mildew
  • "Dear Sauerkraut: I know the route your kids take home from school. Sincerely, Kimchi."
  • 수입: Jnapan's Toyata are selling car in Korea. Now it gonna be so easier to find traitor and spy. We can cut NIS budget in half.
  • 외국어: Today's Japan language lesson: TOKYO ("토교") is means "Vomit Religion"
  • "Ssangyong contacting potential buyers" (; Check your hotmail/yahoo email for "cHeAP sSaNgYoNg sHareZ"
  • Eco-friendly manufacture hub pave over tidal flat marsh. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone! Then smash eggs in nest.
  • 송편/Songpyeon: "DO YOU KNOW DDEOK DOUGH?"
  • 北산불: "Multiple Fires Rage in North Korea" (; Citizenry praises Kim Jong-Il for extra ration of heat
  • Korean emigre and a criminal=Canadian. ( Naturalized Canadian and successful=Korean. (
  • "SK GDP Expands at Fastest Pace in 7 Years"( Meanwhile USA people just expand ass size. 대한민국!
  • "Immortal Advocate of Peace in East Asia" (; only convicted on one count of 1st degree murder
  • Dangerous wild boars to be hunted (; Dangeous wild boors to be given comfy bed (
  • 5 *More* things to know about Wondergirls: #5: They are quntuplets birthed by Wonder Woman.
  • 5 more things you didn't know about Wondergirls: #4 Sohee has a birthmark shaped like King Sejong
  • 5 more things you didn't know about Wondergirls: #3: Mimi and Yenny communicate via Morse code by batting their eyelashes
  • 5 more things you didn't know about Wondergirls: #2: Yubin votes libertarian
  • 5 more things you didn't know about Wondergirls: #1: Sun has a paralysing fear of parakeets
  •  OECD to start indexing "quality of life" (; Korea thrilled to have nowhere to go but up
  • 신종프루 예방: Prevent Flue method 1. Sterilize all surface with many soju, especially mouth, throat, and digestive tract
  • 신종프루 예방: Method 2. If your current air have no virus, do not change for air with virus. Put plastic bag around head & seal tight
  • 신종프루 예방: Prevent Flue method 3: Join ritual sacrifice of Japan diplomat at Shrine of King Sejong in Gwanghwamun
  • 신종프루 예방: Prevent Flu 4: Put excess phlegm in obvious place like stairwell, so people can see and take measure to avoid it.
  •  신종프루 예방: Prevent Flue method 5: Jew people and Islam people immune since shun of swine. Have business meeting with one.
  • 신종프루 예방: Take long soak in salt water bath. Then smear pepper, garlic, brine shimp on body, sit in clay jar for two weeks.
  • It'is morning. And, it is calm. Because Korea is the land of the monring calm.
  • Seoul is cold than reception of Japanese ambassador! But, now I can light cigarett from kerosine stove at my cubicle.
  • "Former German chancellor due in Seoul" (, will apologize for GER/JAP WWII collaboration, loathesome sauerkraut
  • Korea Times beats all other news outlets in breaking article about how awesome Korea Times is (
  •  Koreans protest use of Beagles in Lab experiments (; still approve Lab use in Beagle experiments
  • "Shakira Backed by Traditional Korean Dancers" (; Still remains filthy whore (
  • Let's learn Koean Exclamations: "오빠~~" is mean "buy me this and you may imagine me in my underwear"
  • FACT: Toyota Prius batteries are powered by the tears of orphans. Which cause cancer, by the way.
  • ( "Tax office Gearing up for Probe of ETS", will use gochujang instead of KY Jelly
  • "Korean Wave Sweeps North Korea" (; interest in Korean language, Korean history expected to soar
  • DO YOU KNOW? Japan people can unhinge their jaw for swallow large prey.
  • 스포츠: Park Chan-ho's Phillies team suffers from conniving, cheating, and imperialism by Hideki Matsui's Yankees.
  •  Good Morning to world! This is a Korean Gov. Why you USA people wanna eat a dinner now? It is a morning.
  •  "Korea Can Cut Reunification Cost" ( You please outsource your reunification to Korea. We gonna topnotch at it.
  • "List of Pro-Japanese Collaborators Unveiled" (, New edition includes Yankees fans
  •  "Legalization of 'Poison Pill" Planned in 2010" ( Students nationwide sad to learn it's just an M&A barrier.
  • NATIONAL EXAM DAY IS COMING! Please practice hold your breath, because a breathe is prohibted for the Thursday.
  • BREAKING: NK and SK navies exchange Fire! Kim Jong-il praises navy for "depleting the South of several grams of gunpowder and lead"
  • It's a BbeBbero Day! Alternative spell include Ppeppero, Pepero, Bepero, Pbebero, Pebpero, Pepbero, Bpepero, Bpebero, and other.
  •  Police car to be used to escort students to national exam tomorrow. If you gonna to have emergency, please you have it now.
  • Ssangyong closer to liquidation ( Employment and automobile choice for nation's assholes in grave danger
  • Have you seen a Japan people teeth? It isn't a bad dentistry. It because Japnese have a fangs for inject venom.
  •  New torism sloganism: "KOREA: Only technically at war"
  • Next time a NK navy start a fight and run away in fire, we catch up and putting out fire. With pee.
  • Leak of Ssangyong technology to China have many harmful effect, include set back China car industry by 5 year.
  • Koean Govt set to warm welcome Bara Kobama to the Korea. Why people think he Africa person? Sound more like a Japanese.
  • Korea, Sparking!
  •  Japane steal a "katamari damacy" idea from the Korea, where it is name Hyundai Heavy Industries.
  • Anton Apollo Ohno is defeat Korean Speedskaters. We at disadvantage for carry extra 10kg of 한 during race.
  • "Brithrate crisis forces tougher stand on abortion" ( Now how are we supposed to prevent a pregant?
  •  "Funds pledged for child sex victims" ( @Koreangov support by contribute \50,000/hour to fat junior high girl.
  • Kim Yu-na is win 7 champion in a line. She do the Camel Spin, the Toe Loop, Spin Loop, and I think a Camel Toe.
  • ( "Shops Worried Over Decline of Japanese Tourists"; Why they gotta so flammable? Damage a tourism.
  •  Korea improve a rank on global corrupting index from 40 to 39. Is that all we get for $1000?
  • "Somali Pirates hijack ship with 28 North Koreans aboard" ( Unclear who will try to eat whom first
  • Gov fines soju mfrs W200 bil. for price fixing(; Reduced to W5,000 when mfrs confess being drunk at the time
  •  Barack Obama come to the Korea! He is like the "Hines Ward" of America.
  • SSangyong Motors builds Plant in Russia ( Ssangyong quality and Russian attention to detail gonna topnotch!
  • "Obama Meets Half-Brother in Beijing" (; Like Obama, half-brother is also half Brother.
  • Buy $500k condo in Jeju, you can Korean resident! Same costs $75K in Thailand, but who wanna be Thai?
  •  "Why are American Cars Unpopular Here"( All the self-loathing of purchase a Japan car but none of the quality
  • For the hundreds time, it pronounce a "DDEOK-BEO-KKI". Just like it spell.
  •   Model Kim Da-EUL is die a tragic in PARIS. Police are blame the homesick.
  •  "Japan's Deflation Threatens Economy" ( @koreangov is so conflicted
  •  Gov Plans AC Adapter/Handphone charger Standards( Hair/eye color, food preference standards already prove very success
  • Penalty for drunk driving is 30 days jail, but sentence may be reduced if you can convince judge that you were drunk at the time.
  • "Taiwan unveils Health Toilet" ( Korea now only No. 2 in toilets.
  • @FollowKari when a kimchi go bad, it just turn back into regular cabbage.
  •  Korean woman wins gold medal for display her perfect snatch:
  • Proud Koreans overcome immense obstacles placed before them by prouder Koreans:
  • "Two-Pronged Approach Needed to Counter Low Birthrate" ( Will not work--Korean ladys just not into that.
  •  The only thing worse than Japan is the Japanese.
  • "Drama Shooting Clogs Central Seoul"( Also, being Central Seoul clogs Central Seoul
  • "Kim Ok-vin Hopes to Conquer Screen", letter "v"
  •  Japan people asexually reproduce, as the earthworm. But, they just do they sex because they so pervert.
  •  "One Killed in Weapons Test" Test is pass because it *supposed* to be deadly wepon.
  •  "Poor North Koreans Get Even Poorer" Citizens praise Kim Jong Il for unprecedented surplus of Poverty
  • Korean officials take huge hits of Ecstasy and Marujuana 대마초:
  • 9 years ago today (Dec. 9, 2000), Kim Dae-jung won the Nobel Peace Prize. That's the NOBEL PEACE PRIZE, bitches.
  •  "Survey: Koreans in Agony Look to Soju" ( )Also; Koreans in Korea Look to Soju
  •  Do you listen that? It is a sound of KOREA sneak up on your economy and do a pounce!
  • Record low temperatures freeze Korea ( ); Stymie pigeons' efforts to eat sidewalk vomit
  • "Girl's Generation Diet" is just over 1/3 the calories of normal intake for teen girls
  • Cancer rates in Korea up 11% over past 4 years: Cause remains a mystery:
  •  "More women prefer to have kids without marrying" Also enjoy being called "disgraceful whore"
  •  Buddhist Temple Hyangiram burns down Alcohol and cigarettes ruled out; firefighters run out of theories
  • Korea continue to be number 1 in Skate! 김연아, 안현수, and 홍어:
  •  Iran hooked on Korean dramas "Women's role in Iranian society doesn't seem so bad anymore" says female viewer
  • Social cohesion, LCD panels planned:
  • "Legislators to break stalemate"; each other's faces
  •  "SK questioning N.Koreans found adrift" Q's include "Do you know Dokdo?" and "Do you know Kimchi?"
  •  New Wave of Korean Wave planned: ; Bae Yongjoon to personally tongue-kiss millions of Japanese women.
  •  Garrison Keillor to wrote memoir of collecting Korean coins, title will be "Lake 오백원 Days"
  • "Electronic anklet program to include violent criminals" Previously, loud screams of victims enough to locate them
  •  Buddhist temple celebrates Christmas: Christians return favor:
  •  New Korean photosharing site does not alienate Hispanics at all:
  •   Kim Yuna choose "Meditation from Thais" for Gala. We have the Buddhists, so why not Meditation from Koreans?
  •  Ministry of Education increases importance of English testing skills in order to minimize need for hakwons:
  •  Merry Koreastmas!
  •  ATTENTION KOREA! Official "Seethe" level is set to ORANGE; prepare for possible RED level soon:
  •  WOW!!~~ So snowy in SEOUL. Did you know that Seoul is the only country in the world that receive a snow? Fact.
  • KOREAN* wine gets perfect score of 100: (*From California winery owned by Koreans; not available in Korea)
  •  SK to give nuke tech to volatile Middle East: Because if NK is doing it, why can't we?
  • A: Because clearing the streets would rob WINTER of a key characteristic of being one of Korea's FOUR distinct seasons.
  •    DID YOU KNOW? Kimchi have all the health benefit of Sauerkraut but none of the deadly, deadly poison.
  • "Korea, UAE to boost military ties" Maximizes synergy of Korean planning skills and Arab discipline
  • Seoul pedestrian are request to not get the hit by car on snow/ice street for it hurt an OECD ranks.
  • Korea get a first Gay. Since no other gay in Korea he can't do the analysis with otehr man.
  •  "Hub of tax revenues going to 'Hub' Slogans instead of Snowplows!"
  •  Seoul snowplow driver was hangover so it didn't hear handphone before. He awake now and start a plow after breakfast.
  •  You see? It's like the old Korean proverb: "If you hate Japan enough, eventually the snow stops"
  •  "Dahn Yoga: We put the 'Cult' in 'Korean Culture'"